Last night I slept and dreamed about him. You can say he was my first love. We again innocent, fun and love each other as the first days of love. I let my heart break beat on each gesture, his movements, but not to worry as he had taken his wife time. I woke up from a dream because of fear. Because he had married long. He became a man alien to me after marriage. Other English to himself a lot. Between us there is only pain and misery. The main cause leading to the collapse of our feelings because I am poor and I have a family misfortune.
Story past now sit thinking back I feel like yesterday. Yet also had 17 years before. Over the past 17 years I have worked very hard to study, work to get ahead in life. It was 17 years how many times I sink into misery, despair because of his mistakes. For a while I thought as myself can no longer tenable. But I was trying to overcome with the thought: Though I have to die to die beautiful. I had to start again almost from zero. I had to rebuild itself from the ruins, desolate because of the mistake. All have passed. Maybe I was balancing the physiological state of mind of themselves in adolescence. An age when I met and loved him passionately. After the days of struggling with life. Seems like I'm returning his first starting point. I'm still poor, though I was trying to get rich. But faith, and the hope in their own wealth and equally intense days. That day I believe that learning will help me succeed and wealth. And now I believe in the success of the project I am pursuing. When that project is successful, then I will become a rich man. That day I was just a little girl growing up still very naive and stupid. Now I've become a mature woman thàn, and have experience in life. Although it looks like I'm back once the starting point. But I had other people's old lot. Me and him have become totally alienated man. If you do not want to say that we have become who hated each other. I had to balance the mentality of the time of yore. It seems I have just come out a circle from the starting point of his day. What I get is almost remained at 0. Because I went the wrong way. Now go back, I will never go back the way I had come. The choice of love he truly was a mistake for me. And my life has officially fallen into misfortune. First misfortune caused by my own life. And it almost was a starting point for a lot of mistakes and that my misfortune. Now back to ancient times. I will go the other way. I return as myself. And live happy with what I have. I will mobilize to achieve what I want, by the strength and roots itself. Maybe now I heal all the damage on the van broke my first love 17 years ago. I return to my people before that time. Thank you for giving me my life was back to myself!
Author: Pham Thi Hoi
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