Today is the 32nd birthday of mine. And I welcome the 32 th birthday of her in loneliness and poverty. I can share this day with her mother. But she is also busy attending a meeting with the family. I have no friend, nor lover. I'm single. My work is almost still only an idea.
A sense of calm has passed most of the day. Until the evening, I can not buy things I intend to treat themselves on their birthdays. So sad then. When cooking, I was burning for cooking, that's not funny then. During his birthday party, I was drinking a beer. Normally, I rarely drank. If drinking is just ½ or 1/3 of a can of beer only. Yet I fell asleep soon after. But today is his birthday muscle that. Suddenly I do not feel happy inside. Already 32 years old, I never celebrate a significant birthday. Never a guy expression of love to me on this occasion. Yes year I was busy studying and working to forget all my birthdays.
I miss you, I imagine him bringing pristine beautiful big bouquet to my birthday. But that's just dreaming. A wish from the bottom of my heart. He'd never do that to me. Maybe because frankly, I have never loved and appreciated me. Scoldings do anymore, when conversation I had with him was over long ago. I drink another beer. I do not want sad and cry in his birthday.
But I was wrong, I was drunk beer. Say play scared, tabloids, I limp. I even roll out the floor lies a little. Also at the time I saw him tired, I went to bed, so that callers door, say what makes me unhappy. Perhaps my food was not really cooked. So I got food poisoning or not? I do not know either. But when vomiting is all food intake in the stomach, I was feeling better. Oh the feeling drunk beer makes me extremely hard to breathe. Feeling death is near. The last known my health is very weak. I need to plan health promotion more of ourselves. Since then, even though he dies, surely I would never dare drank a beer at a time. I suddenly felt the men out there real talent. They may drink a lot of beer, wine without doing fine. While I only drank a can of that feeling has just died short of material.
Over 1 am I woke. The feeling of people to healthy, normal and clears the mind. I quickly finish the job done no end of yesterday. Cook a pot of fish soup to eat to help hungry. Because last night's food place I've vomited out. Maybe this will be a memorable birthday for myself. Birthday marked the farewell truly frivolous young age, his mistakes. Birthday closed a stage where I just know will work, I do not really care about thoughts, feelings and needs of themselves. Birthday marks the official I entered a new phase of his life. Phase happiness and success!
Author: Pham Thi Hoi
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